A Rabid Spice Girl
June 22nd, 1999 | View Post


Ginger Spice signing autographs for her fans in Manhattan
So today I stumbled across a rabid Spice Girl while wandering the streets of Manhattan (Ginger Spice to be more precise). Well actually, I don't know if she was rabid or not, but she was certainly getting enough attention from the local news crews. More surprising to me was actually the mile-long line of people wrapped around a few city blocks just waiting for a chance to greet her. I think the whole ordeal had something to do with either a solo CD or a book that she had written (or at least one she endorsed).

Naturally I had my video camera strapped to one arm, my Minolta 35mm strapped to the other, and a backpack of film and tapes strapped to my back. It sounds like I'm kidding, but I most certainly am not. I wound up shooting a few 35mm pics of her but decided that I would also film some of the event. Here are some of the stills from the Sony Digital 8mm tape that I shot. ...and yes, I am most certainly ashamed of myself for the celebrity hunt, especially in the case of a damn Spice Girl.

Top 10 Things to Look for in a Retirement Home for your Grandparents
June 1st, 1999 | View Post

20. The only administered drugs are those found on New York street corners

19. Microwaves installed in every room and strongly encouraged to be used by patients with pacemakers

18. Viagra dispensers conveniently located in the stalls next to the condom machines

17. Residents pick on each other by secretly exchanging oxygen tanks with laughing gas

16. Fountain of Youth bottled water (sold in bodegas as Kranked2O) is sold in vending machines for 10 bucks a pop

15. A young looking Ponce de Leon can be seen wondering the halls to promote sales and/or confuse the residents

14. Bath time is synonymous with "erotic massage therapy"

13. The home is often used by psychology majors studying what it takes to scare someone into a heart attack

12. Residents are free to frolic around in hospital gowns

11. Elders wetting their beds are brought on stage and publicly humiliated the next day

10. Upon arrival, residents are thrown into a dark cell for one week to remind them that their life is now over

9. A tackle football game is held monthly between the larger staff members and residents with improperly working limbs

8. Nurses tell stories about former residents being eaten alive by enormous hideous rats

7. The supervisors 3 hour break always starts with a friendly game of hide and seek; the residents hide

6. Residents are forced to watch the end of Cocoon daily to instill hope

5. Sensitive dog collars are used in conjunction with high voltage underground electric fences to prevent any resident from straying into the dangerous world

4. Supervisors encourage the elders to beat on small helpless children in order to feel better about themselves

3. Wheelchair patients can participate in a Ben-Hur like race every Sunday; whips are optional

2. Residents enjoy craft time by hand carving their own tombstones

1. Signs that normally read "Walk, don't run" are replaced with "Get out of your chair and see what happens you crippled old bastard"

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